Thoughts! (aka my notes app)

july to sept:

  • i think you should tell people how important they are to you not because they could leave at any moment, but because they’re here now, and it’s worth saying.

  • american fashion would be nothing without immigration and immigrant influences that shaped it into what it is today.

  • there is a delight of dining alone!! hehe! favorite meal i got alone this summer had such a beautiful ocean view too. a single candle and tiny butter roses. dedicated bread basket, the sexiest pasta, wine sipped silently, poetry read in private. that particular pleasure of walking home after dark when the air is cool and the moon is hanging brightly and then, that joy of traveling by yourself. eating mangoes at the park, listening to your 80 on a 40 playlist on the subway/in the car. of arriving late but in your best outfit. not needing to please or take care of anyone but yourself and your heart just feels so light. such a delight.

  • should i be listening to kanye and think about me or listening to drake and think about YOU

  • sorry i’m not listening i’m still thinking about how butter yellow is out already when it actually just started ???!

  • it is my time to exit this earth if one more person says u wanna be the head of hr to my ceo

  • i looooove sunset drives down santa cruz

  • should i delete my social media until everyone is back from their euro summer vacay?

  • may the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary <3

  • had such a big cheetah print phase in july omg what happened

  • look at you comforting others with the words you wanna hear… Be kind to yourself too

june:

  • BTS IS COMING BACKKKK YAS

  • favorite book of the month - the bell jar by sylvia plath:

    I’ve been thinking a lot about The Bell Jar, so I reread it this week. Every time I do, I get this strange and familiar feeling like there’s a layer of glass around who I used to be. A literal bell jar. People say this book is depressing, that it’s too heavy and too final, but I’ve read it twice now and I already know I’ll read it again. Hehe. It doesn’t feel tragic to me but instead feels like Sylvia Plath left something behind for girls like her. The fact that she wrote it, then vanished, and yet the message carried on for decades to make people feel less alone stays with me. Tldr it’s about depression, identity, all the things no one wants to admit they feel. But I don’t know haha, I love this book… It feels as though someone saw the mess and wrote it down very brilliantly clear and witty and disturbing, but with a rare kind of eerie yet raw and personal poise that makes it feel like comfort. As a reader this is such a crazy paradox that I am still figuring out why it feels both heavy and healing at once. I try to tell people to read it, especially girls, to feel seen with their thoughts. WOULD RECOMMEND!!

    There’s this one part that really stuck with me. Esther’s sitting under a fig tree, imagining all these versions of her future. One fig is being a writer. Another is being a mother. Another is traveling the world, etc. And she’s so scared of choosing the wrong one that she just sits there, starving, while all the figs rot and fall to the ground.
    “I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose… If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell.”

    That’s what The Bell Jar does for me. That, and Ariel. They both gave me space to feel weird and torn and unsure. They let me have contradictions. Omg, this is actually depressing to write lol but I promise I’m fine. It’s just that in it, I read and reread and enjoy rereading. Because it’s the kind of happiness in coming back to what I loveeee and there’s something really happy about that. Like coming back to something that still gets you even when you’ve changed.

    Anyway. That’s where my head’s been.
    xx

april & may:

  • Discipline is nothing but self-respect at the highest level.

  • You will see results if you’re consistent. You will see results if you’re consistent. You will see results if you’re consistent.

  • Obsessed with ciabatta bread :p

  • Did you really have a bad day or did you have 20 minutes where your thoughts run undisciplined and you let it run you over. LOL

  • SOMBR IS SO FUNNY

  • And I dream too much and I write too much and I listen to music too much and I am trying to find God everywhere.

  • Been loving asking this question!! Who’s your biggest inspiration? Who’s your muse?

  • MAU P i need to see you one day skldknfsjdfkl. Manifesting myself vibing to Drugs from Amsterdam at AMSTERDAM pls.

  • I nominate you to make a warm cup of green tea and move on.

  • Are they paying you for your talent or on their budget…? Important

  • Kim K dripping in diamonds to testify her court case is simply divine. Cunty. Iconic. I’m all here for it.

  • My best friend and I will make a magazine one day. Purely for good vibes, passion, genuine curiosity for the world and for many many amazing people we haven’t met yet. AND IT’LL BE SO GOOD.

  • Pretentious is such a meaningless word. Let him or her be cool and feel cool… Be kind.

  • I must solo travel one more time this year.

march:

  • just happy to be here!!!!!

  • songs of the month: come back to earth by mac miller + 紅豆 by faye wong

  • “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” -Tuesdays with Morrie

  • please read the book ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ if you have time. deeply meaningful and heartfelt.

  • after deleting tiktok the air i breathe is so fresh now

  • art decorates space, music decorates time!!! <3

  • @brendahashtag the queen u areeeee i am obsessed w u

  • seems like tokyo loves denim on denim and oversized leather jackets. girls be loving ruffle skirts and bag charms!!!

jan 2025 thoughts: (aka my notes app)

  1. After visiting Napa for the first time:

2. I <3 films + journalism so this is my two cents:

This might be random, but as a longtime NYT reader, I’ve been closely following the publication’s stance on a widely publicized Hollywood feud from the movie “It Ends With Us”—although lowkey, I’m way more interested in the Baldoni v. NYT lawsuit than the Baldoni v. Lively one LOL, because… well, celebrity feuds are mere gossips, but media defamation is serious. This is what I think after reading the NYT’s article after Mr. Baldoni and his publicists have sued The New York Times for libel over its reporting about Lively’s allegations:

  • It’s disappointing to see The New York Times’ handling of Justin Baldoni’s lawsuit against them. I approached their latest article hoping for some journalistic reflection—basically some recognition of the significant challenges raised against their original reporting in December of 2024. Instead, the NYT has chosen to sidestep the overwhelming counter-evidence presented on Baldoni’s website—a staggering 224 pages of documentation, all of which I have read in full (I actually read 224 pages I am so for reals rn), including the supporting evidence and detailed rebuttals. Honestly, I don’t really care, but if you ask me, it completely dismantles Lively and Reynolds’ claims, further exposing that numerous texts were omitted from NYT’s reporting in the lawsuit and confirms misinformation from both Lively and the NYT. Most importantly, it reveals the manipulation Lively has been orchestrating and that the Times may have been complicit in shaping a skewed online narrative and a vehicle for manipulation.

    After Baldoni’s website launched, rather than engaging with the substantive claims, the NYT published articles that appears to be doubling down on its own and/or Lively’s narrative, glossing over the cracks in its reporting. It increasingly feels as though they are veering into tabloid territory, operating less as a beacon of truth and, unfortunately, more like a tabloid itself—one that, alongside mainstream media, can be wielded as a tool to reinforce existing biases rather than challenge them. Again, just like in the article, so much information missing here. Since when did the NYT cared about celebrity feuds??? Pls! What is this bs lol.

    As someone who has long respected The New York Times, this is simply disheartening. Having participated in their Summer Internship 5 years ago, I was taught heavily on journalistic integrity—to question assumptions, follow the facts wherever they lead, and acknowledge gaps and potential loopholes in reporting rather than taking sides prematurely.

    I have no stake in celebrity feuds. At best they are meant to be taken lightly, because at the end of the day, until this lawsuit concludes and even long after, it remains just that: a spectacle of gossip. The public has nothing more to do with this other than giving it a shit ton of attention, and neither does it contribute meaningfully to society!!! Yet, witnessing the NYT entangle itself in this dispute in a manner that feels neither neutral nor responsible is frustrating as a longtime reader. Surely, there got to be more meaningful stories to cover than a sensationalized celebrity feud that has entirely overshadowed the very movie it was meant to promote—a film adapted from a best-selling book about domestic violence. To ignore that crucial subject while fixating on the off-screen drama between its two lead actors is not just irresponsible—it’s humiliating and tone-deaf.

    Journalism should be a discipline of accountability, not a tool for influence, let alone a tabloid perpetuating public prejudice on an ongoing lawsuit while omitting evidence to fit a narrative. So yeah, do better NYT. You’re not the Daily Mail, the Insider, nor Peoples Magazine. This is disappointing, but thanks for taking up my Jan notes app and distracting me from loads of Trump x Elon news hahahaha.

some oct-dec thoughts:

  • girlhood is a spectrum. one day for no reason i feel like i need to clean my room and apply a confusing skincare routine to get my life in order.

  • nara smith on tiktok is so inchresting. need her to make a fuck to give from scratch.

  • burberry is coming back!!! i think!!!!

  • ON running shoes slaying

  • kendrick lamar for harper’s bazaar article. super fire. super cool. him in prada also chef kiss

  • want to analyze fashion. @databutmakeitfashion cool asf

  • rosie

  • y is quiet luxury decreasing ugh

  • need to learn how to make bento boxes

  • who has the best holiday store decorations

  • pottery classes, jazz bars, restaurant bars, HOTPOT

  • another winter szn thinking ab acne studios scarf… but i still won’t get it hehe

  • loving sezane

  • ja and yuki so cute

  • a woman with six espresso martinis can ruin a city.

  • yo what the heck arcane is so good

  • spotify wrapped this year terribly downgraded. p disappointing

  • coquette is long over

  • claude monet water lilies sold for 65.5 million

  • want a giga big and pretty fish tank one day